Suffering: pain, anguish, questions leading to faith, trust and understanding and experiencing the grace and goodness of God. Our testimony: On the 28th May 2018 my wife Janine was rushed by ambulance to the hospital with a suspected massive heart attack and the next day while in the hospital suffered a major traumatic injury; a C7 spinal cord stroke that left her paralyzed from the top of her chest to the tips of her toes in addition to 2 hemorrhages and other major trauma. This was in part due to the negligence of the Specialist Consultant who refused to believe her and our daughter's advice who happened to be a rehabilitation nurse and was in attendance when these things occurred. For the next 6 months, her life lay in the balance as each day the various specialist consultants, and she had six, changed their diagnosis which my family and I found very difficult to understand and to deal with. When Janine's spinal cord stroke happened I was experiencing severe trauma as I watched on while my wife of 35 years struggled to breathe had nearly died on at least 3 occasions and to understand what was happening to her. I felt racked by guilt questioning if as her husband, I had cared for her sufficiently enough over the years and had many questions. I prayed diligently many times per day seeking and asking Jesus for wisdom and what his opinion on all these things was and giving thanks that HE works all things together for good. As I diligently searched the scriptures and prayed I was led to the book of Psalms where I remembered that 'her times are in God's hands' and 'her days have been numbered in his BOOK' and as I believed, I spoke daily thanking HIM and reminding him while vigorously standing on HIS word that this was true of Janine. Every day for the first 6 months, the diagnosis kept changing. Our church network abandoned us after several months of support and we were rarely visited or contacted to even enquire how Janine, our family or how I was. I had been a part-time pastor, a part-time missionary who had taught and equipped people all over the world and yet all this counted for nothing. I was forced out of the church, out of the Eldership and relentlessly hounded and ostracised for the whole 13 months Janine was in the hospital. Yes, we received a little support however not for long. The Elders of the church came and prayed for Janine anointing her with oil and subsequently, one of the praying Elders gave a public prophesy that she would never leave the hospital alive, which has since been disproved as she has been home as of January 2020 seven months, and yet he has not been disciplined and neither have we been told he is sorry. That false prophetic word became a snare of the enemy that I had to rebuke and vigorously refuse daily filling my mind with the word of God. The hospital made some critical mistakes and tried to sweep these under the carpet and hide them however our three (3) daughters all work in medical and so they finally confronted the hospital yet not once were we apologized to and we chose to forgive and not to engage in litigation. Janine had six Specialist Consultants and each one was required to sign off for her to have any operation no matter how minor. This took up to two months at times and was very traumatic. Yet despite all these things we both had a deep abiding peace and the Specialist Hospital Unit became a mission field to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Many such patients, in fact nearly all, require anti-depressant medication and have breakdowns however Janine was a beacon of light to the 39 other patients and after 7 months Doctors, Nurses and others came and asked her what her SECRET was, that she was always so positive and upbeat. She told them faith in Jesus Christ and subsequently, many staff and patients came to her to unburden themselves and a few for prayer. I befriended many patients and took them treats, offered to pray with them and shared with them our faith in Christ. Many patients have their spouses leave them as they are unable to deal with the resultant trauma. I have always deeply loved my wife and yes I have made mistakes but have never been unfaithful or uncaring as when we married I stood before God, witnesses and Janine and said for better, for worse, in sickness, in health, for richer, for poorer to death do us part I am and remain totally committed to Janine. This did not go unnoticed by many around us. Make no mistake this was a very difficult, emotional, traumatic, draining, difficult and challenging time however the peace of God continued to keep Janine and me in deep-seated peace, something to this degree we have never experienced before. She had clots on her lungs that could have killed her for the first six months, very bad ongoing muscle spasms, withering in her feet, pain in her arms, continence issues as she had no sensation from the top of her chest to the tips of her toes. Yet through all these things GOD kept us and remember our church fellowship relentlessly attached me personally and did unconscionable things that at the time hurt. I have come to a place of total forgiveness for what they did to me, to us and it took time. Jesus has forgiven me and I am forgiven of so much and I am not angry, mad, bitter, NO, not at God or any person whatsoever. After thirteen months Janine was discharged home where at 65 I retired to become Mr Mum and look after all the home duties and are her on-call Carer 24/7 and get up at nights to assist her as required. We have specialised spinal carers who come in twice per day to hoist her out of bed, shower her, dress her, hoist her into her motorised wheelchair and assist with some home duties. She will never drive again and has limited motor skills and is considered highly dependent. She has her good days and her challenging days as do I yet the Lord has given us amazing favour with the hospital, the government and with other people and in many other ways. We have a limited income however the Lord has provided miraculously in ways we had never experienced before and continues to do so as we give thanks, are grateful and appreciative to him in all things. For me, I had autonomic fatigue of the adrenal gland before Janine's injuries which required me to lay down each day and rest for 90 - 120 minutes each afternoon. I do not sleep well at nights which is a side effect of this type of fatigue and yet I am bathed in peace daily. Sometimes I get 2.5 hours of sleep per night, sometimes 4 hours and sometimes 7 hours sleep. Paul instructs us that our light afflictions are but for a moment and we have found that this is true as we are daily sustained by his total faithfulness. This happens through good times, difficult times, challenging times and times of struggle, yes HE is ever faithful and that is our testimony and Janine and I give GLORY, HONOUR AND PRAISE to him who redeemed us from a futile life to one where our names are written in the Lamb's book of life and we will be given a new body free from the corruption of sin at his appearing. I have merely skipped over many details including the difficulties, pain, hurt, heartache and watching your dearly beloved wife suffering, the personal ridicule of myself and even being despised by others and all I can do is pray. However, prayer is vital and studying the scriptures has brought me far closer to God, required repentance, adjustments, change yet with peace. Our journey continues, some days easy, someday difficult however through faith and patience we inherit the promises of God. I can say with total certainty God is faithful and while I would never have chosen this journey the rewards for us both far outway the negatives. This is the perspective we must develop to live victoriously while also being transparent about our struggles and be a good soldier of Jesus Christ, works in progress, flawed yet being perfected in HIM, by him and through him alone. As I conclude let me say I have really glossed over many things to try and keep this post to a minimum however I have written our testimony to encourage the reader that if we ordinary people can experience HIS kindness and love so can you. Phil Lye Th D.